Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Art of Reflection and the Many Faces of Negativity

There are many aspects to the Work we do.  (By now, we know that Work with a big `w` refers to the path we walk).  We will discuss a bit about the Art of Reflection.   We will also take a look at negativity and its effects on us and our energy reserves today. 


ENERGY STORES


Part of our Work is the taking in and storing of energy(ies) which is vital to our well-being and necessary for us to use in furthering our growth spiritually.  It is like a feedback loop ... we Work to gain energy which we can now use to continue to progress in our Work ... of course we also require and use energy for other things.   We gain and store energy by applying practical tools -  in both a formal practice, where we set a specific time aside to do certain movements and breathwork, and the informal setting of our everyday life ... this is what is meant by the saying that life is our dojo. 

In this path of study, you can be a householder ... with children ... a job ... etc. and benefit from Walking in this Way.  We are fortunate that doors have been opened and we have the possibility to benefit from this Work and attain whatever we are willing and able to attain given our unique situations and personal efforts.   Of course, given our vast differences in health, lifestyle, time and effort into the Work, we will get different results. 

If we are too tired to do our practices and/or are too stressed and have no energy reserves left, we can lose our ability to respond to things in a balanced way ... we may find practices challenging to do when we are tired or stressed out from how we are responding to our various life experiences and situations.  So we can say that we also Work in order to be energy efficient.  We then use our energy to continue in our Work and in our Life ... with as much balance and harmony as we are willing and able to create and sustain - given our own acquired abilities.

WAKING UP

Surely, the Work is in the Now ... in every moment ... wherever we are and whatever we are doing.  We are always in the Now ... what we mean when we say that the Work is in the Now, is that we are aware and conscious to all that is to various degrees - some of us are walking asleep ... in the Now ...  and not present with and in it.   There is so much talk of this these days ... yes, and for the most part, mostly talk.  We can offer you tools to check how awake you really are ... how willing are you to see?

When we are not fully present, we are more likely to respond out of a negative pattern and unconscious behaviour (thought, word or action); this, in turn, triggers others to do the same if they are equally not present (I also use the word unconscious ... unaware) ... and this, of course, leads to suffering and is fuel for further negative internal/external dialogue and so on.
  
There are also those who are conditioned to be 'nice' ... and this has nothing to do with being awake, aware and fully present to what is ... so it is a tricky thing ... this state of being awake.  All of our practices have to do with waking up more fully ... you only KNOW what this REALLY means when you are there yourself ...



THE ART OF REFLECTION


Reflection does not get in the way of the Now ... we gain from reflection and then we take this insight into our daily life.  Stopping to reflect often presents us with insight and aha's about things we did that we were previously unaware of.   When we stop to consciously reflect, it is quite different from allowing the mind to run rampant with mental movies and incessant internal dialogue on its own (unconsciously... not under our direct instruction).  So we choose when and how long to reflect and then we move on.

We can stop to reflect at any time during the day ... right before bed ... at various times of the year ... we can reflect about the day ... the week ... the month ... a year ... 

By the way, how HAS this last year been for you (2011?) ... were you at ease and in the flow with your life?  What situations came up which gave you big mirrors about yourself and what will you do differently now?  What did you learn about yourself? ... What are you doing now based on this reflection? ... How about your lifetime? ...

Have you ever had a tremendous shock in your life?  How did this impact you and your life afterwards?   Many people speak of having their life flash before their eyes right before death, a near death experience, an illness or a tremendous shock.  I experienced this when I was very ill ... and near death.  It was an amazing experience (I did not say fun) ... full of all the dark and light of how I was and the things I had experienced up to that point in my life.  Revealing, indeed.  

I now KNOW why certain monks have practices whereby they live as though they might die at any moment ... it is not a morbid practice ... it is reflection and presence to a high degree.  I have had other near death experiences and they have enriched my life - shocks have always made me see things with fresh eyes ... like being reborn without the garbage, conditioning and traumas we pick up along our journey.  These shocks provided me with opportunities to wake up more fully and to move in life in directions I may never have travelled.  But those are other stories ...

Bring the Art of Reflection consciously into your life as a practical tool.  In your formal practice, you are doing this reflection in the moment as you are moving ... but it is not a purely mental reflection ... it is all of you at once ... in keen observation, sensing, feeling, hearing, seeing, being inside and out all at once ... if you do, you will move without thinking about dinner or what someone said to you ... you will move freely.   We do formal practice in such a way that the mind finds it very difficult to take over!  We then Work to carry this forward with us throughout the day ... the formal practice being a big boost.

This way of reflecting is not the same as unconsciously daydreaming about the future and rehashing the past in daydreams and fantasies at any random time of the day.  This is what is unconscious and what we Work to stop.  


REFLECTION AND NEGATIVITY

Reflection is a tool we use.  As we reflect about the negativity we can see in our thoughts, words, actions, in and around us, we do so with awareness and then we move on with our day, applying what we have learned.  Negativity is a huge energy drain and so we are very interested in finding how it shows up in our lives in order to do something about it.  

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What are some of the Faces of Negativity?


There is a lot of misconception around negativity.  I once heard/read the story below and it stuck with me ever since.  It has become a reminder to me that when responses are genuine and are appropriate to the moment and the situation, they may come across to someone else as harsh or negative, when they are simply genuine responses to something in the moment and can be taken as a mirror of behaviour if dished out in the balanced measure to what is given. 

This is one of the big traps regarding negativity: people often justify true negativity as being a genuine response and a genuine response as being negative ... this is due to a lack of inner clarity and ability to see one's self and others as they really are.  Here is one story for clarification:

A woman priestess was studying under her master teacher when she came across a challenge in her understanding.  She was learning about the practice of loving kindness towards all beings and found herself unable to apply it in one situation.  She went before her teacher and explained:  '' I have been applying loving kindness to all whom I meet as my meditative practice.  Every week when I go to the market there is a gentleman there who pinches me and accosts me with rude comments and gestures.  It seems to be getting worse each time I go.   Work, as I do every time I see him there, I have so far been unable to feel this loving kindness towards him.''  The teacher smiled and told her, ''The next time you go to the market, bring your umbrella and when he touches you and speaks rudely, give him a sharp slap with your umbrella.   Then bless him with loving kindness in your heart,  walk away, and continue with your practices.''  She was never accosted by this person again.

This is a useful story in that many of us put up with inappropriate behaviours under the guise of being a spiritual and loving person.  We have the right to place boundaries up - and we can offer love and forgiveness to those who behave in this way ... in our hearts.   Others have no issues with placing up boundaries, but they do so aggressively and then gossip about it and carry on about it long after it is over ... this is also negative, and wastes energy.

So as we contemplate negativity, we must consider that it also involves having developed enough awareness, wisdom and discernment to respond to what is with a balanced approach. 

Subtle or obvious sarcasm:  We have a funny pattern in our communication style: its called humorous sarcasm... we can see it in the popular sitcoms on TV, in our friends, family etc ... perhaps we have picked this pattern up ... this form of sarcasm hides the subtle aggressive tendency we have towards each other - in other words, it is so easy to hide our true feelings and intentions and mask it as just a joke - just humorous sarcasm.... We hear things like:  "I did not mean it seriously - if you want to take it that way, it's about you!"   OK, so how about saying what we REALLY mean then?  Where is the heart and soul in our communication?


Judgment:   When I was growing up, I was taught the way of the Catholic Church and religion.   Of course, judgment was something spoken of and quoted all the time.  'Judge not lest ye too be judged', I was taught.

Hypocrisy abounded all around me as I saw that words did not make the individual able to do what was taught.  I was judged all the time by the very people who taught me not to and who attended the same church as I did.  Does this occur only in the Catholic Church?  Obviously not. 

My point, here, is that a teaching is only useful when applied and it requires a certain level of awareness and self-reflection to be able to see that one is or is not applying things ... with wisdom.  Many devout religious and otherwise spiritual people are hypocrites ... which has nothing to do with the path they are on ... only to do with their own level of being and ability to look into mirrors of self-reflection ... are they AWAKE or not?   Some paths do not lead people towards true awakening ... other paths do ... this is also true and has nothing to do with judgment ... it simply is what it is.

Also, to call it like it is, is not judgment ... it simply is what it is ... as long as it is not a projection of our own ...

People make judgments all the time ... including most of us who imagine we do not!   Work at catching the subtle ways that you may judge ... another's path ... another's way of dress ... someone's beliefs ... whatever .... simply catch yourself doing so in the moment ...

We judge and label our children and other people without truly understanding them.  This is now a norm in our society.   Judgment is a big part of the negativity in our world and inside us. 




Gossip:

Gossip creates drama and drama is a waste of energy.  We talk about others' lives and share our judgments, opinions, and often twisted views about what is going on with anyone who is interested.  Though we sometimes view this as a childish behaviour found in the public, high school, or college environments, we as adults, do this ourselves. 

Gossip is a common behaviour ... we are not speaking about sharing important information for awareness ... we are speaking of the kind of gossip which is hurtful - such as the spreading of rumours... or our own negative views and judgments about something or someone.  

We will sometimes speak of others in negative ways and this can taint the view about someone in a way that is not even accurate.   We see this happening in families and social environments all the time.  What a surprise we get sometimes to find out that people have believed things for years ... things about us that are not even true ... or at least, if partially true,  tainted with the warped perception of others!  

It is best to avoid gossip.  Sharing useful information or talking about things in order to learn from them is one thing, gossip is another... learn to distinguish the difference.



Unconscious and Mechanical Responses and Attacks:

This is something we see as a part of the conditioning we all experience.  We learn to respond (re-act) in specific ways and patterns as we grow up and throughout our lives.   If we Work to Wake Up, we come to see ourselves as programmed with responses, dramas, patterns ....most of which are unconscious to us. 

The more we awaken, the clearer we see ourselves... and into the mirrors that life presents us with via people, places, situations, energies, etc.   The more we awaken, the less likely we are to react with an unconscious and mechanical response and attack ... towards others or ourself.

The negativity we are faced with every single day of our life is either an unconscious internal pattern of our own (mental/emotional ... postural ... energetic etc.) or it's in our daily environment  - coming from others and from various energies all around us.

We say that patterns of responses which we may find negative and even hostile are mechanical ... this means they are not conscious and coming from a chosen place.   They are unconscious reactions to whatever.

 We often feel attacked either by the thoughts, words or actions of others or even ourself (like when we rehash negative experiences or unconsciously berate ourselves ... our own negative internal dialogue can be enough to drain us!). 

What can we do about this?  One thing we can do is to work on Waking up.  This will alter us and our perception of these things.   As we alter ourselves and raise our level of being, we no longer react to things the same way.  

Another thing we can do is use our minds in a practical way... when we are met with this in our environment, we simply learn to avoid reacting to it and see it for what it is ... look at the reality of where it is coming from.   From a place of mental/emotional balance, we can make a decision that will assist us in the way that is best for our particular situation.


Mental/emotional balance and control

This is, perhaps, one of our greatest challenges. 

As humans, we mainly have one of the following two patterns:

1.   We leak so much vital energy engaging in mental and emotional outbursts ... we are the one who have the main pattern of expressing our negativity outwards towards others and also towards ourselves at times

2.  We waste incredible amounts of energy stuffing these things inside us in order to appear already balanced ... or to avoid feeling these negative things ... or to avoid expressing them outwards towards others. 


BOTH OF THESE HAVE NEGATIVE EFFECTS

When we outwardly express negativity in an unbalanced way, we impact not only our own energy system, but those of others who may not be able to deal with this negativity well ... in which case they will also be affected.  It is vital for us to really feel the impact this has on us in so many ways (including how this can lead to illness ... and how it drains us of our energies) ... and to then apply consistent effort over time to alter this pattern.

When we suppress these negative states or unconsciously hold these negative energies inside (because we are `good' people or 'nice' people ... or trying to be this way ... or whatever other belief that may cause us to hold these tensions and negativities inside) ... we create chronic patterns of tension and energy blockages in our system and this also wastes incredible amounts of precious energy and can contribute to illness.


How many other faces of negativity do you know of? ... we mentioned a few of the big ones above.   Deal with these with balance and wisdom and you will find you have a great deal more energy to apply to your Work.   Use the Art of Reflection in your daily life to assist you with this.   Put your gained energy into the positive aspects of your Work and yourself ... cultivate Beauty, Love, Compassion, Wisdom, Tolerance, Clarity, Balance and the other traits of a Warrior/ess into your daily life with conscious presence.  


Search out assistance with the areas you may get stuck in and keep Working!   Play and have fun too ... this helps release tensions ... hug those you feel to hug ... smile when it is genuine ... put your feet on the earth ... let the air caress your skin  ... the sun embrace you and feed you ... MOVE YOUR BODY and LIVE!