Friday, August 24, 2012

Healing Part 3: Healing Family Patterns

Self-reflection
Clean your mirrors ... self-reflection ... perception ... perspective ... accuracy in perceiving what is before you ... discernment ... wisdom ... consciousness ... projections ... patterns ... awareness ... willingness and ability ... openness of mind ... mental and emotional flexibility ... inner strength ... courage ... determination ... Work ... learning ... application ... co-operation ... development ... spiritual growth ...

What do all these things have to do with today's topic on healing and family patterns?  These are all skills we have the potential of developing on the Path we study here.  They are some of the MANY benefits we can acquire with persistent Work over time in the Arts we teach.  So those who have worked with me have heard me use these words in different contexts.

Some questions I have received were about the healing process and the realization of the benefits of working through family patterns as part of healing.  Those of you who have asked these questions have already come to see these patterns and are interested in learning more.  This blog topic today is for you, and I will answer your questions to the best of my ability below.   Know that this is a major core of healing and that your work in classes, apprenticeship practical Work, personal assignments and soul counsel all address these things over time.  Be patient with yourself ... dedicate yourself to your Path and Work and be consistent with these things over time.  You will see the transformation!

My many years in the work of counselling have shown me that there are, indeed, patterns we pick up as children.   These patterns are often traceable down several generations before the knowledge of the history disappears from our family memories.  Working with the number of people I have has enabled me, over the years, to do my own research by asking questions about family histories.  The faces that lit up when the answers to my questions revealed patterns that they were repeating which were similar, if not identical, to the patterns of members of their family was so amazing to see!  Some people were shocked to see that this pattern held such a huge hold on the decisions and choices of future generations.  Every person, who realized this pattern was in place, wanted to break it ... And there lies the key: at some point ... somewhere along the family line, new patterns can be created which can alter the history of future generations along that family line.  It is wonderful and refreshing to see someone come along in a family with the determination, courage, open-mindedness and willingness necessary to do this kind of Work! 

In Soul Counsel Sessions, my approach in working with others in healing their familial patterns, continues to include assisting others to gain awareness of their own inner/outer habits and patterns in the present moment and how that impacts their life.   We do look at family histories to see the reality of the force of these familial habits, characteristics and patterns which flows down and affects others generations later.   To see this reality has nothing to do with blame, shame, pointing fingers, hanging onto histories or bashing our beloved family members (regardless of their inappropriate behaviours over many years).   Being able to see things as they were, to speak of them as they were, and to eventually work to get to the place where this holds no more inner or outer charge (or affect our life in a way that is limiting to our personal potential), is the essence of this work in healing familial patterns.  

In many cases, individuals wish for their family members (especially if there were years of stressful and/or traumatic and deeply hurtful experiences), to own up to what they did ... to apologize sincerely ... to somehow make amends.  Though this is possible, it would mean that these individuals would have to embark on a personal healing path as well  - or to at least have enough awareness to see what their part in things really were.   For the most part, this healing journey is going to be yours  ... taking place within you ... and often you will feel alone and not joined by family members on an honest journey of family healing.  This is in no way negatively impactful to your own healing ... it simply reflects the level of being of the other people involved ... perhaps they are in denial and have many other inner buffers and resistances to seeing things the way they really were.  That is not your Work! 

Individuals have to first gain the awareness of what they are doing (or that they have the potential to evolve themselves) and then they require genuine interest in learning how to alter what they are doing.   This is true on all levels: spiritually, physically, mentally & emotionally.

This process of looking at ourselves can also be very painful for some people.   They work so hard (and it takes sooo much energy to do this) to hold up the image of what they would like to appear to be that they can not see how they really are.   This creates a lot of inner tension and body/postural changes which can lead to eventual illness for them that it is a real shame once one realizes this ...  They have histories of their own that were obviously never dealt with.  It does us no good to attempt to drag others onto the healing path we are on - though it can be very tempting when one realizes the inner and outer freedom, joy, health etc. this can bring!  This is the same about spiritual paths and journeys as well!

Many of the patterns in our life as young and mature adults prevent us from experiencing and living the life we have the potential of.  This is why we Work to see them and to adopt healthier patterns, habits and ways of being.

Yes!  We do break patterns via movement arts!  Much of what we experience in life (and have challenges processing energetically in our many energy centres), gets stored into the various tissues in our bodies ... these accumulations or depletions create various illness over time.   It works like a circle ... if one does the movements in a certain way, one gains self-awareness which deepens significantly over the years ... movements free up the accumulated tensions in the body ... the movements we do directly impact our meridians/energy centres and therefore we are healing ourselves every time we do movements and breath ... we heal the body in layers and so this is a process that takes time ... with the release of these tensions, we begin to think and to feel better ... the Work we do with self-reflection brings in the piece of awareness and understanding about ourselves ... so we continue to progress: we think, feel, act differently ... as we continue to Work, we progress spiritually and we gain other abilities ... we then continue to work and it goes around in a cycle ... with each cycle we release more, heal something else, gain more ability and so on.   The process is individual as we are all so different in what we can (willing and able) release ... depending on what illnesses we may already have or a history of physical trauma from accidents etc... or  mental/emotional traumas ... for many of us, there are multiple things we have to work through.  You also know, if you read our last blog, that we may experience cycles along our journey, and regress at times -- only to rise up higher when we overcome that which we had to work through.

So what do family patterns have to do with healing?  Quite a bit .. and to different degrees for us as we are so individual.   We also create some of our own unique patterns as responses to things we experience and some of these can be future patterns in our family lines.  What patterns do you have?  Where might they originate?  How do you track your patterns and what do you do, practically speaking, as a tool to alter your patterns?  What new healthier patterns are you currently working to create for yourself?    As always, seek out wise counsel for guidance and assistance along your Way.

As we walk along our Way, throughout our lives, we will be presented with many opportunities to test out our new skills and to see where we are really at!  If we are willing to look into the mirrors provided to us by All that Is around us inside and out, and to clean our own mirror of self-reflection, we can continue to Work and grow always!   The benefits of doing so far out-weigh the inner/outer challenges we face when living life in this way.