Full of spirit, energy, vitality, and aligned with your passion, step out into the world with genuine self-confidence.
Work to cultivate these things within yourself and make a difference!
Arrogance or Confidence?
Self-confidence and 'spirit'...
Many movement arts ... such as Kung fu speak about cultivating a sense of self-confidence in students. Many come into an Art like Kung fu (or other Arts called `Martial Arts'), looking to develop self-confidence ... among other things.
Here at Souhl Center, cultivating the inner 'spirit' of the person is vital and self-confidence arises out of this inner 'spirit'. Here, the word 'spirit' is used to mean "full of energy... enthusiasm... determination" (this is not to be confused with the word 'Spirit' which relates to something else we study and work to align with in our Work). The way I am using the word 'spirit', here today, is directly linked to the word 'spirited'. When one is 'spirited', one can also more easily align with a natural sense of inner self-confidence. When one 'lacks spirit', one will find that one's self-confidence diminishes as well. This inner feeling and outward manifestation of `spirit' is not the false sense of confidence and energy that appears in someone who is arrogant.
Though on the outside arrogance can look like self-confidence, and can appear much the same in various behaviours, arrogance is something different and is quite pretentious. Self-confidence is genuine. Why, then, is it often confused with arrogance? First of all, the two are often misunderstood in basic meaning. Secondly, many people are not self-confident themselves; most individuals operate from a false personality and do not really know who or how they really are and some of these people have false ideas about what 'humility' means and how it manifests in outward behaviours. Walking around feeling very 'humble', they judge and criticize anyone who seems to have a natural sense of vitality, energy, spirit and self-confidence. Arrogance is not self-confidence, and we clarify that word below.
When we observe someone who is not self-confident, we may sense, observe or feel that they are lacking or low in energy, enthusiasm ... perhaps even vitality ... A person without self-confidence may appear deflated or perhaps we get a feeling that the person is somehow repressed or subdued ... not really "comfortable in their own skin" ... as the saying goes. When one is not confident, it may be very difficult to express one's unique talents and gifts with the world to one's true potential.
If someone does not feel confident ... and lacks energy and vitality, developing these things and a 'spirited' feeling and attitude requires Work along certain lines for some period of time ... until it is something integrated within one's psyche ... or soul ... and therefore more easily accessed and expressed naturally from within.
For many people, developing self-confidence comes in the form of attempting to alter one's behaviour by reading a book or attending a seminar. These things can help if there are very practical things one can apply to one's daily life on a regular basis. We do not change by information or concepts alone. We must be able to apply very practical things into our everyday life in order to develop real lasting inner changes ... like developing 'spirit' or self-confidence.
Arrogance....
Arrogance is not confidence ... although sometimes the two are confused - especially within the individual expressing arrogance... or the individual who is not aware of the difference between arrogance and self-confidence.
Well then, what is arrogance? ... some people call this 'ego', but the word 'ego' also holds many other deeper layers of meaning, so this would not really be a good word to use. A person is arrogant when he/she expresses an exaggerated sense of their perceived importance or abilities. The word 'exaggerated' is key here. If one expresses a genuine ability one has with the intention for instruction or to motivate or to be an example to others of one may attain, how can this be arrogance? In the definition, arrogance is an exaggeration. Having said this, one can, perhaps, more clearly realize how easily one can mistake self-confidence with arrogance ... or vice versa. When we lack true understanding ... awareness ... consciousness... we mistake one thing for another quite easily. Arrogance might learn something from humility - self-confidence does not need to.
Some people imagine that Arts like Kung fu teach a student to become arrogant (or angry... aggressive etc. etc.). This is a myth. Teachers are different and students are different. Some teachers are arrogant - others are self-confident and full of spirit. Some students are arrogant - others are self-confident ... how can this be otherwise? It is the same in the world around us!
Some students become arrogant due to a lack of their understanding or inner development along a spiritual path (some people call this having or developing an 'inflated ego'). Sometimes it is a phase they go through ... some may never come out of it. Other students lack self-confidence and feel plagued by inner doubts and rather than expressing arrogance; they slip into self-pity or diminished inner views of themselves. This has nothing to do with the teacher or the path ... it is an individual thing ... personal 'inner demons' one must face and transform. It is a person's own inner work.
It is true that a 'path' ought to have and teach principles and tools which students can learn and get real results with. Along with this, we also must consider that the proper mindset and attitude towards Work ... 'true understanding' of things taught (we are so plagued with distortions at times) ... consistent diligent use of tools over time .... many things, really, are dependent upon the student. This is why many teachers who possess keys of a genuine spiritual path lament over not being able to find a 'worthy student'. This is not an arrogant thing for them to say ... it is simply a sad reality. One must be of a certain mindset or level to be able to be teachable.
If you are self-confident and full of energy and spirit, it will naturally shine through in the way you are at various times; some people will judge you or label you or misunderstand you ... be your natural self and ignore negative responses coming towards you.
Arrogance? ... or Confidence? Make sure you understand this difference prior to making assumptions or judgements... of yourself or others...
Humility is another word that we misunderstand and misuse ... but we are not discussing that one today.
Obsession or Passion?
What is an obsession?This word comes from the word 'obsess' and so we need to look at that word. To obsess over something or someone is to have that thing, thought, idea, picture, person etc. to fill up so much of your thought patterns that it becomes troubling to you in your life in some way.
The root of the word 'obsess' comes from the late Middle English... and can point to another meaning: haunt or possess... as in what some refer to as an 'evil spirit'. Possession comes in many forms... we can 'become possessed' by people, places or things. So, in this way one can see how something like being obsessed with money can mean that one is haunted or possessed by the 'spirit of greed' for example and how an obsession with money could 'possess' someone to do things which are not healthy, legal, balanced, loving and so on.
Example: Someone is obsessed with money. Perhaps this person becomes a workaholic and eventually develops a chronic illness due to the long hours he/she works and a lack of self-care and balance in his/her life. In this case, observing from the outside only, one would think work was the obsession ... but underlying this particular person's motivation, the obsession is money. In another example with money, the underlying obsession could be work related: obsession with status, power, control or perceived social recognition and so on.
People can become obsessed with power, status, recognition, applause, sex, a particular person, a political cause, a religion, a cult... we could go on and on. Sort of sounds like an addiction, huh? They are often deeply related. Work on ourselves from the inside out is the way out of these things ...
People often confuse passion with obsession... or the other way around.
Obsessions may initially look like passions, but inevitably obsessions create chaos, havoc and suffering later on when they become chronic.
What is passion?
The word 'passion' is either used in its older meaning or in its more modern context. People understand this word differently depending on how they have learned of its meaning. Many words are like this; in order for us to understand one another ... and knowing that we have, indeed, altered the meaning of many words over time, it is crucial that we understand what we really mean when we use a word.
Some people have told me that they have heard that some religious beliefs use the word 'passion' in a way that means 'suffering'. I was raised Catholic, and know of 'The Passion of Christ', but never used the word in that way outside of church. I never understood the word in that way, because I have always used it in my everyday language in its more modern development of meaning which points more towards 'arousing great enthusiasm'... which has a more positive slant. I do not equate the word 'passion' directly to suffering or to any sort of emotional or 'ego' imbalance - though I am also aware that some Buddhist teachings use this older meaning of the word as well. Because we have accepted the more modern definition of this word into our English language, while maintaining the older usage of its earlier meanings, we then need to be careful that we are talking about the same thing!!! Isn't this so ... of many things?!
Looking at the root of the word 'passion', we can understand, perhaps, where this came from. Origin: Middle English: from Old French: from Late Latin: 'passio'(n-) ...(chiefly a term in Christian theology) .... from Latin pati: 'suffer' ... We find that the phrase... 'The Passion' ... is the suffering and death of Jesus.
We can then imagine that for a long time the word 'passion' meant suffering, and that some people still use this word in this way. Today, however, many people have come to use the word 'passion' to describe something we feel when we are very enthusiastic about something... like: " He has a passion for gardening, so he became a gardener and is very happy in his work these days." This use of the word has led to many people talking about looking for ... discovering ... or expressing their passion in their work in order to align themselves with something they feel deeply they are 'called to do in the world'. Sometimes we suffer on our way to discovering who we really are or what our 'passion' in life is ... or we sometimes suffer as we work at aligning ourselves with who and what we are and how that is expressed in the world. Just because we are 'passionate' about something or someone does not mean there will not be hard work involved or suffering of some sort along the way in Life. Having said this, though, I still do not equate 'passion' with suffering ... directly.
Obsession? ... Or Passion? .... Once again, we need to be careful about what we are saying and that we really understand what we ... or someone else is saying.... there are so many layers to understanding ... as we evolve, we understand things on deeper levels... we only understand up to wherever we are at.
